First I'm going to explain what the Ferber method is, and why its used for any that don't know.
The
Ferber method is a system for getting babies who have trouble sleeping,
to go to sleep. In this mans book he encourages using this method for
babies as young as 3 months, which I find quite distasteful at best. So
here is how it works.
You put your baby to bed awake (as he
stated in his book, they must be awake for it to work). Now if the baby
starts crying, you are to sooth them only by patting them on the tummy
or stroking their head. You are not to pick them up, or talk to them,
and as soon as they are quiet you are to leave the room.
If the baby
starts to cry again, you wait longer then the first time to go in and,
without talking, dimply pat them get them calm, and leave again. So the
method goes, each time your child cries, you are to leave them for
longer and longer before trying to calm them.
That;s basically it
in a nutshell. By the way, the above method was started by a man, who
after all of my research apparently doesn't even have children of his
own. Something to think about.
I can't imagine how many little
ones have been alone, screaming for their mommy, with no answer. I just
don't understand why women pick up these nonsense fads and actually use
them on their children.
The above method in my eyes is utter
rubbish. Common sense tells me without even researching this, that it is
a horrible way to show your child you are there for them, will probably
destroy basic trust in you, and leave an infant feeling alone,
helpless, unwanted, and unloved. You can't train a baby to sleep, they
are either tired, or they aren't, its that simple.
By using this
method though, you can assure yourself a good nights sleep as your child
will be so exhausted from crying, they will finally give up and go to
sleep.
So lets check out some research on this method, also called Crying it Out, shall we?
Everyone
of the studies below has a bit to say on the Ferber method, even though
none of them were ON the Ferber method. Ferber's method leads to
excessive crying, depression, attachment disorders, stress, anxiety, and
can actually LEAD to more sleep issues. The studies show that the above
mentioned has a huge impact on IQ, development, can lead to trust and
behavior issues later in life, and can almost destroy the mother child
bond that isn't even fully developed yet.
This
horrible method, that goes against everything my parenting has ever
stood for, will never slime its evil, uncaring, way into my home, and I
truly hope that any parents thinking to use this, reconsider.
Just
pick that tiny, helpless, scared little being up and love it with
everything you have. That's what baby wants and needs from you, as mommy
and daddy.
THE STUDIES, simply copy / paste them into your browser, they pop right up as archived research.
M R Rao, et al; Long Term Cognitive Development in Children with Prolonged Crying, National Institutes of Health, Archives of Disease in Childhood 2004; 89:989-992.
J pediatrics 1988 Brazy, J E. Mar 112 (3): 457-61. Duke University
Ludington-Hoe SM, Case Western U, Neonatal Network 2002 Mar; 21(2): 29-36
Schore, A.N. (1996), “The Experience-Dependent Maturation of a Regulatory System in the Orbital Prefrontal Cortex and the Origen of Developmental Psychopathology,” Development and Psychopathology 8: 59 – 87.
Karr-Morse, R, Wiley, M. Interview With Dr. Allan Schore, Ghosts From the Nursery, 1997, pg 200.
Kuhn, C M, et al. Selective Depression of Serum Growth Hormone During
Maternal Deprivation in Rat Pups. Science 1978, 201:1035-1036.
Hollenbeck, A R, et al. Children with Serious Illness: Behavioral Correlates of Separation and Solution. Child Psychiatry and Human Development 1980, 11:3-11.
Rosenblum and Moltz,
The Mother-Infant Interaction as a Regulator of Infant Physiology and
Behavior. In Symbiosis in Parent-Offspring Interactions, New York:
Plenum, 1983.
Hofer, M and H. Shair, Control of Sleep-Wake States in the Infant Rat by Features of the Mother-Infant Relationship. Developmental Psychobiology, 1982, 15:229-243.
Wolke, D, et al, Persistent Infant Crying and Hyperactivity Problems in Middle Childhood, Pediatrics, 2002; 109:1054-1060.
Stifter and Spinrad, The Effect of Excessive Crying on the Development of Emotion Regulation, Infancy, 2002; 3(2), 133-152.
Ahnert L, et al,
Transition to Child Care: Associations with Infant-mother Attachment,
Infant Negative Emotion, and Cortisol Elevations, Child Development,
2004, May-June; 75(3):649-650.
Kaufman J, Charney D.
Effects of Early Stress on Brain Structure and Function: Implications
for Understanding the Relationship Between Child Maltreatment and
Depression, Developmental Psychopathology, 2001 Summer; 13(3):451-471.
Teicher MH et al, The Neurobiological Consequences of Early Stress and Childhood Maltreatment, Neuroscience Biobehavior Review 2003, Jan-Mar; 27(1-2):33-44.
Leiberman, A. F., & Zeanah, H., Disorders of Attachment in Infancy, Infant Psychiatry 1995, 4:571-587.
Hello I just read all that you have to say about The Ferber method, I respect what you say, however! I strongly live by the motto "Each to their own" I'm a mother of 3, I have beautiful 11yr old daughter a 20 mth old, and my new addition a 7 mth old, I'd like to let u know I have used control crying on all 3 of my children, and it's worked wonderfully!! There's nothing "cruel" about it, I believe it's cruel not teaching babies to self settle, I didn't actually follow the Ferber method as such, but I visited tresillian a stay in mothercraft nurse facility who educated me on how to have a life again!! Bcos my first was a living nightmare not sleeping, feeding etc.. I in return was an exhausted stressed out mum, who was at the point of throwing my daughter out the window, once I visited tresillian they taught me to allow my baby to cry as a newborn only I think it was 3 to 4 mins, then going in staying to comfort for no more than 3 mins even leaving if still crying, although it broke my heart seeing my little one needing me, I was at my wit ends and wanted my baby to sleep I was prepared to do anything!! The Ferber method suggests leave longer at each crying interval, most parents find the longest they Leave them is 8 mins, and by the third time going to your baby they're asleep, statistically it takes 2 days for them to be adjusted, plz be aware that with my first born she was 11weeks when I started controlled crying, it's not recommended to do it before then, as newborns just dont have the maturity to understand, & are also not awake long enough to train so to speak. I'm all for controlled crying, especially when u have more than one child, babies are very intelligent little humans and can start to play you, the skills I learned from tresillian I practiced with my other two, it didn't take long and nothing Is more pleasing or satisfying then putting your baby down awake kissing them gdnite & walking out and they fall asleep, bcos they know it's bedtime, they need to learn how to put themselves to sleep, with your method your not teaching them that, other mums I know use to envy my method bcos I could have friends over put my babies to bed and be hands free, while they were still rocking or comforting their babies frustrated, having coffee, and when the baby was put down it would scream bcos it relied on being rocked to sleep, I'd really like to know how u found the time with ur house and other children if u had to rock your baby to sleep, or stay with them, to me that's making a rod for your own back, my daughter goes to be without a problem still today and certainly doesn't feel or is unloved in any way, nor does she have any learning difficulties, shes highly academic. So I admire anyone who has the strength to allow their babies to cry, we certainly arn't cruel heartless mothers like you're portraying us to be, we still love our children unconditionally, and we are better mums for our kids bcos we have taught them to live around us, not us Luce around them, finally as for your no smacking or yelling parenting I totally agree!! I have never smacked my children or yelled at them, and they so well behaved beautiful respectful children. But controlled crying go for it!! It doesn't hurt a baby to cry they are born crying, we all cry through life it's not life threatening or damaging, it's a way of communicating, and for babies it's a way of saying"well if you don't pick me up & stay with me alot I'm going to give u a really hard time, keeping u awake at night & just be difficult. Go Richard Ferber thankyou for making our mummy lives easier & more rewarding & pleasurable!!!!
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